Well, after much deliberation between me, myself and I, I finally decided perhaps having my own blog is not such a bad idea. See, I’m not much of a ‘sharer’. It’s not that I don’t have any opinions or have nothing to say, I often just find myself rather unwilling to state what that is. Sometimes maybe cause I’m just plain lazy, I figure if I wait long enough someone else will say what I’m thinking anyways. Other times, because I don’t think it’ll make much of a difference. And if I am being honest, sometimes because I am scared those listening will think I am talking nonsense.
In a world where everyone seems to have this irrepressible need to share their every last thought, I find it rather tedious to do the same. Not a particularly good thing if you’re working in an academic/activist environment where you are required and expected to always have an opinion and be ever willing to tell the world what that is. But, unfortunately my lack of speech is not limited to my working environment. It has always been that much easier to watch, listen and let the world go by. Only jump and participate when I feel like it. Perhaps it is the nature of a Piscean and I should simply make peace with that. But, somehow I am not at peace, so why not try to something different and see what happens.
I have something to offer. What exactly that is, I’m not quite sure yet. But, I’ll figure it out. And yes, I may not always feel like getting up on a soapbox to declare my position, but perhaps sharing a thought or two every now and then may not be such a bad idea.
See, what gets me every time is that I actually used to be a real good public speaker, have the medals and certificates to prove it and a good writer of opinion pieces. But somewhere between high school, varsity and now, I seem to have lost my voice. Sadly, the idea of even voicing my opinion in a small meeting fills me with dread. So, I guess, this is my attempt at finding my voice, the boldness to state my case regardless of what others may think, as cliché as that sounds :-).
As such, this blog likely will lack a particular focus point, aanslag is die gepaste Afrikaanse woord 🙂. Jip, so by-the-way, ek’s Afrikaans. So, mag dalk lekker tussen tale dwaal. In the words of Steve Biko: ‘I write (will) what I like.” Lucky for me, I am not really looking for an audience. I just want a space to state my case without fearing that I’ll be judged for it.
So, off I am on this journey of discovery. I might find in a few months’ time that I’m over this (have happened before with social media) or I might find myself being more willing to say what I think about stuff.
Wait, light-bulb moment, perhaps my angle should be that if I find myself unable to speak up, I should come share it here. So, that next time the idea of having of to buckle down and type it instead may induce me to speak up.
Okay, now I’ve said why I felt the need to create a blog. For some reason I needed to get that out. But, enough! I’m bored with all this introspective stuff now. Hopefully my next post will be way more interesting. Living in Jozi, young kalit and single can be quite interesting. I should share some of that. Toodledoo. xxx Lady Q.